“In the same boat. How to stop quarreling over parenting and become a friendly parent team“

<p>We moms:</p> <p>We get angry when daddy is rude to the child, when he doesn&#39;t realize that the child is not able to &quot;not whine and obey silently&quot;.</p> <p>We are very hurt that daddy&#39;s words will remain in the child&#39;s memory, that he will then repeat to himself what a foolish and wrong person he is. It hurts us for the child&#39;s feeling of humiliation, worthlessness, fear of the big and strong.</p> <p>We feel powerless: we explained to him this way and that way, that a five-year-old is not able to regulate his emotions, if even you, at 35, are not capable of it. He may even agree. But at the acute moment - everything repeats.</p> <p>After that, it&#39;s hard for a woman to trust and be affectionate with her husband like nothing happened.</p> <p>We are sad that we cannot raise a child in harmony with his father, because this is a very important dream of ours.</p> <p>We are afraid of losing the child&#39;s trust. We are afraid that parents will not be a support for him, but adults, who the less they know, the better they sleep. And he will not turn to his parents in a difficult or slippery moment. And there&#39;s adolescence ahead....</p> <p>Dads</p> <p>in these fights feel misunderstood, abandoned, judged and alone.</p> <p>They don&#39;t want to be made out to be perverts when they are just trying to raise their child to be a decent human being. They feel like their wife is teaming up with their child against them.</p> <p>As a rule, the relationship with their children is genuinely important to them, and they care deeply when things don&#39;t work out as hoped.</p> <p>What about the children?</p> <p>Children tend to blame themselves for their parents&#39; conflicts, even if the conflict has nothing to do with them. It is no coincidence that children tend to blame themselves, even if the conflict has nothing to do with them.</p> <p>When parents fight over a child, the child feels guilty. And he&#39;s scared. His world is shaky. At the same time, the child learns to maneuver: if daddy didn&#39;t allow it, I&#39;ll go and ask mom.</p> <p>As children grow up, the situation becomes more complicated: differences in approach to upbringing become more acute, and the price of conflicts becomes higher.</p>